Here’s how to get started…

If you’re not in a committed relationship, maybe it’s time to consider dating again. And if you’re age 50 or older—the point at which most of us become much more focused on staying healthy—then it’s an especially good time to give dating a chance.

While the prospect of dating as a mature adult can seem overwhelming or downright scary, here’s some compelling motivation—the latest research indicates that being in a relationship can improve your health in a variety of ways. And take heart: There are specific tips for daters who are 50+ that can make getting out there again much easier.

HEALTH BENEFITS GALORE

Plenty of singles age 50 or older say they don’t need a relationship to be happy. But those who are in committed relationships seem to have significant health advantages over those who fly solo.

Case in point: An analysis of data from more than 300,000 adults found that those without strong relationships were 50% more likely to die from all causes over a seven-year period—a risk that’s the equivalent to daily smoking! Additionally, men and women who live alone and have a heart attack are twice as likely to have a second heart attack within a few months.

The list goes on. Married people are less likely to get pneumonia than singles, and those who are married or live together in midlife are less likely to develop dementia.

HOW TO GET BACK OUT THERE

If you have been out of the single world for a long time, you might not be sure that you want to get back in the dating game. But one thing is certain: Humans have a deep need for intimacy and companionship.

And while some people are perfectly satisfied with their close friends and family, a healthy committed relationship generally offers a greater level of stability and support. After all, if your best friend moved to a different state, you wouldn’t follow that person, but you likely would if it were your partner.

The advantage of later-life dating is that you’ve been through it all before. And you probably have some idea of what you’re looking for. Also, while you may be a bit insecure in how you look as you age, you may have more confidence in your personality and social skills.

Advice for dating after age 50…

• Get online. The Internet is a fantastic way to meet people. The number of potential partners vastly exceeds those you’ll meet any other way. If you’re willing to put in the time—writing an interesting profile, putting up an attractive photo and wading through the possibilities—you will get dates. (They won’t all be fabulous, but many will be fun and you’ll start to meet people.)

There are hundreds of dating websites to choose from. The most popular sites, such as Match ($35/one month) and eHarmony ($59.95/one month), have the most members (and potential partners), but they tend to attract younger users. Helpful: Try sites that target older adults, such as OurTime ($20/one month) or SeniorPeopleMeet ($20/one month). Monthly prices are lower if you sign up for a longer time. Plenty of Fish is a free dating site for all age groups.  

• Don’t waste time. A survey by the Pew Research Center found that one-third of those who connect online never take the next step and meet face-to-face. Unless your only goal is Internet flirting, pin down a time to meet. You don’t want to rush it, of course, but don’t wait too long. If you like the person after exchanging three or four e-mails, it’s time for a phone call or a meeting (in a low-key public place like a coffee shop). If someone you’re interested in doesn’t ask you out first, take the plunge and do it yourself.

• Set aside your preconceptions. Dating sites have analyzed what their members want—or think they want. Women, for example, tend to respond to men of certain ages, or with particular jobs or education levels. Men tend to reach out to women who are blond. Give other types of people a chance!

• Give yourself (and your date) some slack. When dating, you will no doubt have some anxious and awkward moments. What do you do when every attempt at conversation withers and dies? Or when your date doesn’t laugh at any of your jokes? Give yourself and your companion a break. First dates are hard, but it does get easier with practice.

Helpful: Forget the traditional dinner date. It’s too much for a first meeting, particularly if the chemistry isn’t there—or when you discover between the first and second courses that you do not seem to have a whole lot in common. Meeting for coffee, a drink or lunch is easier and less expensive—and you can quickly cut your losses when it just isn’t clicking.  

• Keep your insecurities in check. No, you’re not the same person you were 30 years ago. You might have a few extra pounds or a little less hair. Just don’t let the nagging negative voice in your head—I’m not good enoughShe is way out of my league…or What if he doesn’t ask me out again—ruin what could be a perfectly pleasant time.

Your date saw something in you before you met. Relax and enjoy yourself. Besides, everyone is insecure on first dates. The person sitting across from you is probably having his/her own insecure thoughts.

• It’s not a job interview. An unfortunate first-date strategy is to ask a lot of questions. Granted, asking questions and showing interest will keep the conversation going. But it can also be intimidating—or simply off-putting.

Some women tell me that they “interview” potential partners to save time. They ask things like, “Are you looking for something serious?” “Do you own or rent?” “What kind of relationship do you have with your ex?” Men do their own interviewing but tend to take their cue from the workplace, posing questions such as, “So tell me…where would you like to be in five years?” None of this is friendly give-and-take—it feels more like interrogation. My advice: Be a little less efficient. A date is a chance to get to know someone…to reveal a little about yourself…and have some fun. Keep it light.

• Aim for a full stomach. Think it’s time to take a new relationship to the next level? A dinner date with great food could be the best way to do it. There may be some truth to the old cliché—the way to a man’s (or woman’s) heart is through the stomach. A study in the journal Appetite found that women who were shown romantic pictures after they’d eaten had more brain activation than women who looked at the same pictures on an empty stomach!

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