Everybody lies to some degree. Sometimes they are mild fibs, but other times they can be harmful deceptions. The trick for the listener is to figure out when someone is lying. This can be helpful when you are interviewing a potential new employee or asking your boss for a raise…confronting a spouse over suspected infidelity or a child over possible drug use…negotiating with a car dealer…or consulting with a financial adviser.
Folk wisdom says that poor eye contact suggests dishonesty. Some psychologists recommend watching for “microexpressions”—very brief changes in facial expression. But studies suggest that these and many other commonly cited indicators are either incorrect, unreliable or extremely difficult to spot.
The CIA has developed a more reliable system for spotting lies. It involves monitoring people’s words and actions for more than two dozen different possible signs of deception. When a cluster of two or more of these signs appears in a single response, it may suggest a lie. You can ask follow-up questions on the topic and see if they, too, elicit clusters of deceptive behaviors (see “Questions That Uncover Lies” below).
The CIA may not have detected that its own director, David Petraeus, was concealing an affair that led to his resignation, but in general, it is very successful at ferreting out the truth.
Possible signs of deception…
“Convincing” statements. These do not directly answer the question posed but instead attempt to influence the questioner’s perception of the person being questioned.
Example: An employee who is asked about an inflated expense report responds, “I’m an honest person,” or “I would never jeopardize my job by doing something like that.”
Unusually long pauses. It takes more time to think up a plausible lie than to tell the truth. Consider a pause to be a sign of deception if it is especially long for the nature of the question.
Relying on religion. When people use God to establish their honesty, it sometimes means that they’re lying. Examples: “I swear on a stack of Bibles…” or “As God is my witness…”
Nondenial denials. This can suggest dishonesty when people assert, “I would never do such a thing” (or words to that effect), yet they fail to deny the specific allegation…or when they bury denials deep in long-winded responses…or they offer responses that sound like denials but upon close consideration are not.
Example: A Senator was asked if he had used a profanity on the Senate floor. Rather than say “No,” he said, “That’s not the kind of language I ordinarily use.”
Repeating the question or commenting on it before answering. Dishonest people sometimes do this to stall for time while they think through a lie. Example: “I’m glad you asked me that.”
Attack mode. This could involve questioning the questioner’s competence or fairness. Example: “Who are you to question me?”
Inconsistent statements. Liars who have trouble keeping track of their lies might provide contradictory answers.
Unnecessarily detailed answers. The speaker might be trying to hide a lie among a flood of truths…or narrow the scope of the response so that it’s deceptive but not technically dishonest.
Example: A CEO who was asked about quarterly sales responded, “Our domestic sales are up higher than we expected.” He specified domestic sales—a level of detail not requested—to avoid saying that overall sales were way down.
Sudden onset of politeness. Note when the level of politeness increases in response to a particular question.
Example: An employee answers various questions without saying “sir” and then responds, “No, sir,” to “Did you take money from the register?”
Inappropriate level of concern. When people downplay the importance of serious misdeeds, it may be because they’re the ones who committed them.
Complaining about the interviewing process. Example: “How long is this going to take?”
Appearing to misunderstand straightforward questions. People sometimes do this intentionally because they don’t want to answer the question.
Referring back to earlier responses. Liars may stress that they have already answered similar questions in a similar fashion. Example: “As I told you yesterday…”
Adding qualifiers. Qualifiers include words intended to stress the speaker’s credibility, such as “frankly,” or “truthfully”…and words that suggest that the answer provided might not be 100% complete, such as “basically” or “for the most part.”
People’s faces and bodies can provide hints that they’re lying…
Hiding the mouth or eyes behind a hand and/or closing the eyes for an extended period during the response. The speaker might be trying to cover a lie or avoid seeing the response that a lie triggers.
Hand-to-face activity. Lying can trigger the brain’s fight-or-flight response. Blood rushes out of the face when this occurs, leaving it feeling itchy or cold. Examples: Repeated rubbing or scratching of the face…licking the lips…pulling the ears.
Nervous movements. Watch for movement in the hands, feet and legs in reaction to a question.
Clearing the throat or swallowing. These can signal anxiety about a lie—but only if they occur before the verbal response, not after.
Grooming. Liars sometimes dissipate anxiety by straightening their clothing, hair or items in their vicinity. Examples: Adjusting a tie…smoothing a skirt…aligning pens on a desk.
Watch and listen for the signs of deception listed above within the first five seconds after asking a question. If one appears, continue monitoring for additional signs during the remainder of the response. Remember, it takes a cluster of two or more to suggest dishonesty—even honest people exhibit one or another of these signs from time to time.
Note: A cluster consists of two or more different signs of deception. If the same sign is repeated several times during a response, it does not count as a cluster on its own. The exception is “convincing” statements, which are such powerful deception indicators that two of them alone constitute a cluster.
It’s difficult to listen and look for dozens of different signs of deception at the same time. Practice by watching people respond to difficult questions on TV investigative news programs.
To uncover lies, ask short, straightforward questions. Even honest people can seem to send signs of deception when they struggle to answer complex questions. Remain friendly and calm even if you think you’re being lied to. Becoming angry will only raise the liar’s defenses, making it more difficult to spot additional signs of deception.
Types of questions to ask…
Presumptive questions. These contain assumptions you cannot yet prove.
Example: You want to know if your teenager was at a raucous party the previous night. Rather than ask, “Were you there?” ask, “What happened at the party last night?”—which presumes that the teen was there and catches him/her off guard.
Bait questions. These present hypothetical situations and often begin, “Is there any reason that…”
Example: Jewelry went missing from your bedroom while workmen were working elsewhere in your home. Rather than ask each workman if he did it, ask each, “Is there any reason someone might have seen you going into the master bedroom this morning?” If you previously asked this person where he was at the time of the theft, he might now change his story and supply a reason why he could have been seen near your bedroom.
Questions preceded by prologue traps. Preface key questions with mini-monologues that offer responders a way to minimize, rationalize or pass the blame for misdeeds. These prologues sometimes convince them that it’s safe to admit to “minor” transgressions.
Examples: Cash is missing from your purse. Before asking a family member if he/she took it, say, “I realize the mistake might have been mine. I never explained that you should ask first when you need to borrow money from me.”
“What else?” When someone admits to a misdeed or lie, keep asking, “What else?” until it seems no more details are being withheld.
