How to Stop Interrupting or Being Interrupted

Do you find that you chronically interrupt people? You don’t really mean to, but you can’t seem to stop? Or do you find that you yourself often are interrupted? Here’s what to do…

IF YOU ARE THE INTERRUPTER

Chronic interrupting is a potentially serious problem. People do not just get annoyed when they are chronically interrupted, they feel disrespected—it seems like the interrupters do not value what they have to say.

To break your interrupting habit…

 Listen intently when someone speaks. Chronic interrupters tend to let their minds wander from what is being said to what they will say next. As a result, they miss verbal and body language clues that could have warned them that their turn to speak has not yet arrived.

 Jot down what you want to say (when pen and paper are handy). This should reduce your subconscious fear that you will forget what you want to say before your turn to speak, a fear that’s at the root of some interruptions.

 Interrupt your own interruptions. When you catch yourself interrupting, you should stop and say something such as, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just excited about something you said—please continue.” Expressing excitement about what was said frames the interruption in as positive a light as possible.

IF YOU ARE INTERRUPTED

First understand that chronic interrupters rarely intend disrespect. Some interrupt because they grew up in households where interrupting was the only way to get a word in…others because their minds move so quickly that they struggle to hold back a flood of thoughts…or because they are in a hurry. Some interrupters actually are trying to help, by rushing to the rescue of people who seem to be struggling to work out what to say—these interrupters don’t realize that the people they are interrupting simply speak with a different rhythm and don’t need their help. It feels disrespectful, but it comes from a place of respect.

Chronically interrupted people also should…

* Be as concise as possible.

* Avoid long pauses.

* Periodically ask “what do you think?”

Giving listeners a chance to speak reduces the odds that they will interrupt at other times. (When you must hold the floor, instead say, “I have to get all this out, but after that I would love to hear your opinion.”)

* Use nonverbal cues that encourage people to pay attention. Lean in slightly…touch the listener’s arm…and breathe in audibly when you pause, which signals that you are not done speaking.