How to Use Personality Tests to Improve Your Relationships… and Your Life

Your favorite color, your zodiac sign, your blood type and your favorite kind of music may all be on the tip of your tongue, but could you tell a potential employer your personality type? A recent Wall Street Journal article notes that 80% of employers now use personality tests in hiring decisions or to help enhance workplace qualities like productivity or morale. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at what types of personality tests are out there, what they measure, and how the information they impart can be used to improve your life.

It seems to be human nature to want to sort ourselves into categories. “People are just naturally very different,” says Donna Dunning, a British Columbia-based psychologist, teacher and author of several books on personality type, including What’s Your Type of Career? Personality tests have been around a very long time, Dunning notes… 2,500 years ago the Greek physician Hippocrates grouped people into four types that he believed reflected all variations of personality and behavior. “Just as we’re born with a certain temperament,” Dunning says, “we’re also born with different ways of interpreting information and making sense of the world.”

There are several basic types of personality inventories. Some rate your strengths and weaknesses with respect to workplace behaviors and skills. Others focus on your problem-solving style or the way you make decisions. Common tests are the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which helps pin down your personality type and how it affects your relationships with others, and tests based on the Five Factor model, which measures traits like conscientiousness and openness to new ideas.

WHAT CAN YOU LEARN?

Dunning says that results of such tests can be useful in improving personal relationships and effectiveness. In fact, she points out that self-assessment is the first step to self-improvement, noting that there are many personality inventories available in books (including her own), online, even in magazines. She cautions, however, that not all of these have been developed through research that gives them validity (meaning that they measure, with some statistical accuracy, what they say they measure) or reliability (which means that if you took the test several times, you’d get comparable results each time).

If your goal is to improve a relationship, Dunning says that  you should keep in mind that “the idea is not to change either of you, but for both of you to gain a greater understanding of and appreciation for your differences.” Psychologist David Niven, PhD, author of 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Relationships, agrees, saying, “The key in dealing with any kind of difference, whether in a personality test or in everyday life, is that no relationship will thrive if you see these differences as a problem to be corrected.”

MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU

You can use what you learn about yourself to improve your life and your relationships. For instance, it might become apparent that you and your spouse have different ways of approaching problems you need to solve together. One of you may like to talk things through from the start, while the other partner prefers to mull over a sticky issue in his/her own mind before being ready to talk. The difference in communication styles can drive both of you so crazy that you never get around to solving the original problem. Even worse, Niven says, is when these basic differences end up alienating you from each other. By making an effort to understand your differences in nature, rather than judge them, you can give each other space to behave in your individual ways and create a plan for how to work together.

If the two of you take different approaches, start by making a conscious decision to try to see the situation from the perspective of the other — after all, there is no point in winning an argument and losing a relationship. In the example above, acknowledge that one of you needs time to think things through — agree to set aside time later to talk about a solution. This approach respects each partner. Also Niven adds that being highly similar is no guarantee of smooth sailing — for instance, two introverts might stay home all the time and become complacent and bored. “Differences are fascinating and intriguing,” he says. “Use your respective personalities to enjoy each other in different ways.”

The following sites offer tests and assessments — www.mbticomplete.com ($59.95)… www.capt.org ($140)… www.personalitytest.net, which is based on the five-factor model (free).

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