When my daughter was a freshman in college, she decided to take skydiving lessons. Luckily for me, I didn’t find out about it until the lessons were over. I didn’t have to spend nights worrying. My friends haven’t been so lucky. One friend’s daughter backpacked alone through China and Vietnam. Another friend’s son biked through seven countries after being treated for cancer.

We may not be able to control our kids, but there are a few things we can do to control our anxieties, even if nothing is going to eliminate those anxieties entirely, says Jane Adams, PhD, a social psychologist specializing in parent/adult child relationships and author of I’m Still Your Mother.

Start by asking your child questions about a few of the things that you fear could go wrong. The answers might reassure you that your child has grown into a sensible adult who has put thought into this plan. Dr. Adams says my friend could have asked her backpacking daughter, “What will you do if you get sick?”

…“How will you know the dangerous areas to avoid?” If the child’s answers suggest a lack of sufficient planning, be aware that simply posing “what could go wrong?” questions subtly encourages kids to think things through in greater depth.

Parents also can think back to their own young adulthoods. Most of us tried things that our parents considered dangerous, yet we survived.

Finally, try to focus on the fact that having a child who is willing to take risks is better than having one who is afraid to live life. The risk takers of the world tend to be those who achieve greatness.

Related Articles