Do you remember those days when you and your partner first got together, and the passion ran so high that neither of you could keep your hands off the other? Many couples see that sizzle fizzle over the years—even when mutual love remains strong. Likely reason: Sex becomes so familiar and routine that it is tough to get excited about it.

To reignite the flames: Instead of waiting until bedtime to even think about sex (by which time you may be thinking about only sleep), try planting the seeds of desire throughout the day. As a sex therapist, I’ve seen proof of how effective this simple strategy is at reinvigorating a lackluster love life. Try it…

• In the morning, before either of you rushes out to do errands or go to work, take some time to share a kiss. Not a peck on the check—a real kiss. On the lips. With your arms around each other and your bodies pressed together.

• Put a note in his jacket pocket for him to discover during the day, or send him a text message at lunchtime. Tell him that you are thinking about him…and describe what you want to do with him when you both are home that evening. Stir his imagination: “I read about a wonderful massage technique that I think you’d love. Can I try it on you tonight?”

• Be a little forward when you’re out together. During a dinner party, caress his thigh under the table where no one can see. Or as you walk out of the cinema, whisper in his ear, “You’re more attractive to me than any movie star ever could be”—and when you get home, show him just how much you mean it.

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