A friend called me. Her son came home last week sharing the news that he had been promoted at work earlier than he was “supposed to have been.” His boss said the reason was that his work ethic and quality were both excellent, and they felt he was ready for the next level of challenge. Fast forward a few days, and the son had earned a “work from home” day, again for the quality of his work. He is so proud of himself for his accomplishment and the financial rewards that come with it.

Contrast this with the story I heard yesterday from someone in Indiana who talked about women he is friends with who are not marrying the fathers of their children because they would lose the special financial benefits that are given to single mothers. 

The first story is focused on growth, expansion and pride. The second on holding back growth in order to “keep the goodies.”

Can you imagine if the concept of waiting for handouts rather than working for your rewards spreads broadly across the country? Truly think about it…

And hence, I think it’s time to reshare a blog I wrote last year about the most dangerous word in the English language—“FREE.” Read on…

We all love getting free stuff—of course! Why pay for something when you can get it for free? “Free” appeals to our most raw greedy and gluttonous emotions. If you don’t believe me, just walk the floor of trade shows where people are weighed down with bags of free samples…or look at the lines at cosmetics counters during promotion weeks. There are only two problems with this…

Nothing is really free. Just because you don’t have to pay for it doesn’t mean that someone somewhere didn’t have to pay for it—maybe even you, because the cost is baked into the price somewhere else.

When something is given for free—or received for free—providers have less incentive to provide quality. Why should they invest if there is no return on that investment?

Let’s talk about the quality of free stuff first…

A few weeks ago, I told the story of our flat-tire adventure in California in my blog titled “Ask Someone’s Name and See What Happens”. What I didn’t mention in that blog is that after we hit a pothole and before we called a tow truck, we went to multiple gas stations to try to fill the leak in our tire and we found one broken air hose after another. But here’s the interesting part—the sign on each air machine said there was a $1.50 charge for air. After we had used up all the quarters in our pockets, a kind stranger told us at machine #3 that, in California, air was free. Aha! No wonder the air machines weren’t working—what incentive was there for the gas stations to fix them? These weren’t local service stations that would gain future business from giving a great experience. These were gas-pumping mega-centers that sold refreshments in the mini-mart. Of course they weren’t going to worry about whether or not the free air machines worked.

I learned an important lesson about “free” many years ago when a friend came over to feng shui my house. After I gave her the birth dates for my husband and children, she outlined the colors that would be best for each of us and the best furniture placement in each room based on energy flow and our meridians. It was super-interesting.

When she was done, she said that while she would love to simply have done it out of friendship, she had to charge me a token amount for her services. Why? Because she believed that something given without value in return loses its value to the recipient. In other words, in order for me to benefit from the lessons she had shared, I would have to have some “skin in the game.” And for all of you cynics out there, this woman was not intentionally giving me a pitch so that I would pay her. She was financially secure and certainly didn’t need the small amount I paid her. She just wanted me to value what I had learned.

Think about it—do you treasure the items you get for free in the same way that you treasure something that required your blood, sweat and tears and a whole lot of patience? How many women have drawers full of free cosmetics they waited online for during promotion week? Is there any child who really needs all the candy he/she gets at Halloween? Or is it just about getting as much free candy as possible?

Free things are not respected by either the giver or the recipient.

OK, enough with the spiritual aspects of “free stuff.” Let’s talk dollars and cents. At the risk of stating the obvious, nothing is really free—the money to pay for it must come from somewhere.

When credit card issuers offer you free miles or 0% interest as an incentive to sign up for their cards, they have calculated the transaction fees and interest that they will earn when you buy stuff with that card. They know the profit they need to make and structure their business accordingly.

True confessions: Even when Bottom Line offers free books to encourage new customers to subscribe to our publications or buy our books, we have taken into account the cost of the free bonuses somewhere else in the cost formula, be it in the price of the products or, if necessary, in the quality of the paper being used for that giveaway (of course, the content continues to be first-rate and “priceless”—that is our brand promise).

And of course, there are all those people who believe that socialized medicine is actually free. After all, it is free in Europe and Canada…it should be free here, too, right? Sure anything can be free as long as the government is collecting nearly 50% in taxes from the upper brackets—far, far greater than the taxes in all US tax brackets. Free is not free. That money comes from somewhere—usually the taxpayers’ pockets.

When managed care was first introduced in the 1980s, the insurance company at the ad agency where I worked explained that the goal of managed care was to share the responsibility with the patient. It was each patient’s job to keep his/her eyes out for errors or overcharges. Should the patients find any, the insurance company would share the found money with us. They wanted people to take responsibility for the treatment they were getting and to feel the impact of the cost and/or cost savings. But somehow that has gotten lost in the health-care debate, and it’s now simply about who pays the bills, not about truly cutting health-care costs.

New York and California recently started free tuition for many students at state- and city-run universities. My own alma mater, Hamilton College, is proud of its need-blind acceptance policies in which it accepts students based on ability and determines how to cover the costs later. A noble thought, but who is ultimately going to pay for those students’ educations? Increased taxes for all and increased tuitions for students who are paying for their own educations at the public universities…and generous donors at private institutions like Hamilton.

This isn’t to say that there shouldn’t be support for those who are at the lower end of the income scale. My point here is that free is not free. Proponents of these measures should understand that every dollar that goes toward free goods and services is a dollar that is not being spent investing in or supporting other goods and services.

Here’s one more thing to think about the next time you’re indulging in your “free-dom.” Even when no money transfers hands, there still is an expectation of return on investment. Facebook and Google are free, but they really are tracking your entire life and leveraging your data to sell ads. Those “free samples” of medication at the doctor’s office are provided in the hope (dare I say, presumption) that you will be become a regular user—and purchaser—of that product.

What’s the upshot of all of this? In order for society to continue to grow, we need to understand that “free” is a dangerous seduction…a narcotic, if you will, that is difficult to forgo once you have tasted it. Why pay if you can get it for free? Why work if others will cover the costs? Because without appreciation for the value of goods and effort, we are destined to collapse under our own weight of entitlement and gluttony. A heavy load to bear.

Sarah Hiner, president and CEO of Bottom Line Inc., is passionate about giving people the tools and knowledge they need to be in control of their lives in areas such as living a healthier life, the challenges of the health-care system, commonsense financial advice and creating great relationships. She appears often on national radio and hosts the Bottom Line Advocator Podcast,  where she interviews leading experts to help people be their own best advocates in all areas of life.