Celebrities’ sexual misbehavior was the topic of conversation at a party I attended and, wow, was the discussion heated! What particularly irked some of the guests were unfaithful celebs who publicly admit to seeking treatment for “sex addiction.” One woman fumed, “They’re not addicts. They’re just cheaters who got caught with their pants down, so they claim to have a bogus ‘disorder’ and trot off to rehab.”

But: Many experts would disagree with her dismissal of sex addiction as a mere excuse for philandering. In fact, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—the American Psychiatric Association tome that standardizes psychiatric diagnostic categories and criteria—for the first time included hypersexual disorder when its fifth edition (DSM-5) was published in May 2013. Though the DSM-5 stops short of calling hypersexual disorder an addiction and lists it among “conditions that require further research,” I think that its inclusion opens the door to greater recognition of this disorder as a legitimate mental health problem.

I spoke with licensed sex and relationship therapist Joe Kort, PhD, founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He told me that loss of control is a hallmark of addiction, and there’s no doubt in his mind that some people truly do suffer from sexual addiction. “The difference between sex addicts and people who are just sexually self-indulgent is that the addicts are going against their own will. They don’t want to be engaging in these behaviors. They know that they’re hurting others and themselves—damaging or destroying their marriages, friendships, careers and reputations—yet they cannot stop,” Dr. Kort said.

What sex addiction looks like: A diagnosis of hypersexual disorder generally requires that the signs be present for at least six months. Symptoms include…

  • Recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, urges and behavior, often in response to stress, anxiety or depression. (Behaviors may involve sex with consenting adult partners, masturbation, pornography, cybersex, phone sex and/or strip clubs.)
  • Repeated but unsuccessful efforts to control or reduce these fantasies, urges and behaviors.
  • Disregard for the physical or emotional harms such behavior can cause to oneself or others.
  • Significant personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors.

    Hypersexual disorder often stems from childhood trauma, such as sexual abuse. This can cause a “developmental interruption” that impairs healthy sexuality and leads to the loss of control, Dr. Kort said. The disorder is more common among men, but it affects women, too.

Help and hope: If you suspect that you, your partner or another loved one may suffer from hypersexual disorder, you’ll be relieved to know that help is available. Dr. Kort said, “Many sex addicts are not able to connect with other people in an emotionally healthy way, so they need to be in situations where they can learn how to do that.” His recommendations for men and women with hypersexual disorder…

  • Work with a therapist who is certified by the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (visit www.iitap.com and click on “Find a Therapist”) and/or is a member of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (visit www.sash.net and click on “Provider Directory”). In addition to one-on-one sessions, treatment may include group therapy.
  • Talk with a psychiatrist about taking psychotropic medication. For instance, antidepressants may have side effects that dim sexual desire…and they also can relieve the mood disorders that contribute to out-of-control sexual behaviors.
  • Participate in a 12-step program such as Sex Addicts Anonymous. For a list, visit www.iitap.com and click on “Resources” and then “12 Step Fellowships”. These self-help groups can complement and extend the effects of professional treatment by providing emotional and social support as peers face their common challenge together.