How to get along better with your kids and grandkids and your coworkers

Many of the “Echo Boomers” — those born between 1982 and 2000 — are our children or grandchildren. Some even may be our employees, colleagues and service providers. The better we understand this generation — sometimes call the “Millennial Generation” or “Generation Y” — the better we will be able to get along with its members and even learn from them.

This generation has significantly different priorities, expectations, attitudes and work styles than those who came before, even when compared with their immediate predecessors, Generation X. Example: While Gen Xers tend to be independent and entrepreneurial, most Millennials prefer to work in collaborative teams.

Seven things worth knowing about Millennials…

1. They’re very close to their parents. Past generations often rebelled against their parents as they reached adulthood. Not this one. Many Millennials consider their parents to be their most valued advisers. That’s generally a positive trait, but it can lead to some uncomfortable moments, particularly in the workplace — more than 10% of adult Millennials think it’s OK to have a parent contact their boss when they have a problem. Yes, times have changed.

Response: If a Millennial in your life leans so heavily on his/her parents that he is not developing life skills, try to give this person responsibilities that provide these skills.

Example: A grandmother asks her teenage grandson to figure out how and where to get her broken lawn mower fixed and to coordinate the repairs with the repairman.

2. They expect to start at the top. Millennials’ parents and teachers continually showered them with praise to build up their self-esteem. It might have worked a bit too well — many members of this generation seem to expect to start at the top and climb rapidly from there. Even the recent recessionary job market has not taught them humility. Employers often are shocked when Millennials boldly ask for raises and promotions after just months on the job.

Response: If a Millennial asks for more than he has earned, remind yourself that what appears to be a sense of entitlement sometimes is just poorly expressed ambition. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious. Explain to the Millennial that others have worked long and hard to earn what the Millennial is asking for, so the request could be seen as disrespectful. Then offer to provide opportunities for learning or growth that will help the Millennial move in the direction that he wishes to go.

Example: A Millennial wants to be put in charge of an important project with her neighborhood association. The association president instead offers to make her the special assistant to a more experienced project manager so that she can learn the ropes before taking a leadership role.

3. They expect their careers to have meaning. More than 50% of adult Millennials say they would accept a lower salary or a less prestigious job to do work that is meaningful. More than 90% say that it is important to them to give back to the community via their companies.

Response: When you recruit or market to Millennials, emphasize how your company improves the world or the region. Connect Millennials’ contributions back to the company’s or group’s central goals if this connection is not obvious.

Example: A Millennial receptionist is dissatisfied with her job, which she sees as meaningless. The CEO of the company explains to her that providing superior customer service is crucial for client retention in the company’s competitive sector and that the receptionist’s efforts are a crucial part of that customer service. He shows the receptionist a note he received from an important client praising the friendly greetings he receives when he calls.

4. They have great expectations but little experience to warn them when those expectations are unreasonable. Millennials frequently underestimate how difficult it is to build a successful career, business or family. They often fail to consider the hidden costs involved in owning a home, an investment property, a boat or other major purchase.

Response: If a Millennial you know is about to make a major decision without a clear grasp of the costs or challenges, do not simply tell him what you think — such unsolicited advice often is ignored. Instead, offer to help this young person compile a list of questions that should be asked before taking the leap. Recommend that the Millennial pose these questions to someone he respects who has taken a similar leap. Help the Millennial find someone to ask if necessary.

Examples: An employer encourages Millennial job candidates to speak with other staff members about the job’s day-to-day responsibilities, hours and career trajectory before signing on. A grandfather concerned that his grandson is rushing into home ownership helps the young man compile a list of potential costs beyond the mortgage, such as maintenance, utilities, landscaping, homeowner’s insurance and taxes. The grandfather suggests that the grandson consult an experienced home owner he trusts for a realistic estimate of these costs.

5. They move fast. Millennials grew up with high-speed Internet and superfast computer processors, and they expect the real world to move at the same accelerated pace. Sometimes this need for speed translates into productivity — but not always. The challenge for older generations is to convince Millennials that sometimes the fastest solution is not the best one.

Response: Don’t just tell Millennials to do things your way. Instead, explain the advantages of your approach. Members of this generation generally are willing to adapt to slower approaches if they understand the benefit of doing so. Meanwhile, be open to learning new, fast techniques from members of this generation. Some of their strategies have merit — particularly when dealing with other Millennials.

Example: A sales manager tells his Millennial salesman to meet with clients face-to-face, while the salesman believes communicating via text messages is better because it’s quicker. The sales manager can explain that in-person meetings tend to create stronger, more lasting bonds — but he also should listen to what the salesman has to teach him about how members of the Millennial generation communicate. If some of this salesman’s clients are Millennials, they might respond favorably to text messages. Perhaps the salesman could give texting a try with a few carefully selected clients, then both could objectively evaluate the result.

6. Social networks are their natural habitat. Members of older generations often see social network Web sites, such as Facebook, as little more than a waste of time. To many Millennials, however, these Web sites are the primary way that they connect with other people.

Response: If you show something or discuss something with a Millennial that you consider private, specifically tell the Millennial that the information is not to be mentioned on the Internet.

Examples: A company’s not-yet-announced new product… an embarrassing fact about a family member… or a less-than-flattering photo of you should be identified as off-limits online.

7. They love to collaborate — and expect to be heard. This generation grew up playing interactive Internet games with teammates sometimes half a world away, working on school projects in groups and having unprecedented input on family decisions. They are not used to working alone. They also quickly become frustrated when they are not included in the decision-making process.

Response: Solicit Millennials’ opinions before making important decisions. They will appreciate being asked, even if you do not follow their suggestions in the end. Allow them to collaborate with other Millennials on projects. If you attempt to have a Millennial work alone, he might collaborate informally anyway, by discussing the matter with friends. Better to keep work teams official and in-house so that you know who is involved and that confidential information remains secure.

Example: A young employee, asked to prepare a report on her own, solicits advice from her former college classmates and accidentally reveals corporate secrets in the process.

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