It’s often difficult to know just what to do or say when offering your condolences, and you certainly don’t want to make the situation worse. Here are some pointers…

Do say, “I am thinking about you.”

Do make a concrete offer to help, such as by making dinners for three days.

Do consider making a donation in the deceased’s name to a charity that you know he/she cared about and letting the family know what you have done.

Don’t say that the deceased is in a better place — this may be true for your beliefs but not others’.

Don’t tell a grieving person that he just needs to stay busy — you do not know what is best.

Don’t say that you know what he is going through — everyone experiences grief differently.

Don’t force the bereaved to accept a hug that he may not want.

Better: Approach him with your hands out.

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