Asking your spouse, child, parent, sibling or friend to remind you to, say, exercise more or eat extra fruits and veggies might give you the kick in the pants that you need to get healthier, according to new research.

You already know, of course, that exercising and eating fruits and veggies are good ideas, but that’s the point of requesting a reminder—it’s about having someone to tell you to do something that you already know that you should do.

Sure, you might feel annoyed by being reminded at first.

But if it helps you reach a personal health goal, then isn’t it worth it?

Whether you’re trying to stick with a healthy habit or start a new one, read on to learn about who you should ask to remind you, the best ways for that person to remind you—and why it may provide the extra boost that you need.

THE TYPE OF ENCOURAGEMENT THAT WORKS

Researchers at the University of Lincoln in England wanted to understand what might motivate people who have trouble sticking with healthy habits. They chose “exercise” as their test case—since it’s something that we all know we should do but that many of us just end up skipping. For the study, researchers interviewed adults between the ages of 32 and 60 and asked them how their family members, friends, doctors, nurses, the media and others influence their level of physical activity.

What they discovered: Those who were already motivated to exercise didn’t need any extra reminders. But those who were least inclined to exercise reported that they needed—and even appreciated—reminders about exercising from their spouses or other family members (such as their kids, parents or siblings), as well as their friends.

IF YOU NEED TO BE REMINDED

For the reminding strategy to work, a few factors must come into play, I learned from Richard Keegan, PhD, an exercise and sports psychologist at the university’s School of Sport and Exercise Science and the study’s lead author. Lessons from the study…

  • Don’t expect anyone else to make you want to do something. In the study, “reminding” was only described as helpful by people who already wanted to be more active. You have to have a goal in your head and be at least a little motivated to achieve it. In other words, being reminded helps push you over the edge, but first you have to get yourself to that edge.
  • Carefully choose the person who reminds you. Who is doing the reminding and how you feel about that person also matters greatly. “People in our study were much more receptive to input and ideas from people they’re closest to, such as spouses, kids, parents, siblings and friends,” said Dr. Keegan. “Reminding” in the study was sometimes viewed as “preaching” if it was coming from doctors, nurses or the media. So choose your own personal health goal (whether it’s exercising for 30 minutes a day, eating five fruits and veggies every day or something else) and then pick a family member or friend whose opinion you value to remind you. Say, for example, “I’m committed to making this change, but I could use some extra support. Would you mind reminding me daily to help me reach my goal? In turn, I can remind you about one of your goals!”

IF YOU NEED TO DO THE REMINDING

Maybe you’re not the one who needs reminding—perhaps it’s your spouse who could use a push.

If your spouse is somewhat motivated to either stick to a health goal or reach a new one and is OK with being reminded, then here’s how to remind him or her appropriately, according to Dr. Keegan.

  • Choose key moments and stay positive. When you know your spouse is weak or frustrated, prod him delicately so you encourage him (rather than scold him). For example, if your spouse says that his intention is to go for a walk every day after work, open the window when he gets home and say, “It’s such a beautiful day for a walk. Can I come along with you today?” Or if he’s trying to eat more nutritious foods and usually has a craving for junk food around 8:00 each night while he’s watching TV, tell him how proud you are that he’s staying the course, and share a healthy snack idea that you found online.
  • Be gentle and don’t overdo it. “You don’t want to come across as interfering or controlling,” said Dr. Keegan. You don’t want to remind the person too frequently or too forcefully, and you don’t want to appear judgmental or negative (i.e. “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you ever follow through?”). Ask the person when and how often he or she would prefer to be reminded.

If you find it difficult to remember to do the reminding, simply set an alarm through your phone or e-mail system.

Starting new healthy habits and sticking with old ones isn’t easy, so we’d all benefit by taking a cue from The Beatles—we get by with a little help!


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