In this year’s NBA Finals, two basketball stars led their teams through a thrilling series. Kevin Durant and the young Oklahoma City Thunder played hard against LeBron James and his experienced Miami Heat squad.
The games were close. Three of the five were won by just six or fewer points. Both teams were talented—it all came down to mental toughness. Which star would stay focused on winning the championship while ignoring the screaming fans, the critical press and the lights and cameras?
It was James who helped the Heat win Game 4 by making a clutch three-point shot in the closing minutes (even with a painful leg cramp)—and, when all was said and done, it was James and his team who won the series.
Now, it’s pretty unlikely that you’ll ever play in the NBA Finals (sorry!). Regardless, all of us face certain pressures. It could be the expectation to perform well at your job…or maybe you’re facing a challenging divorce or you’re moving across the country…or perhaps you’re suffering from a serious, chronic illness. Whatever sort of pressure cooker you’re in, a sports psychologist I spoke with told me that you can learn a lot from mentally tough athletes and come out a winner.
WINNING APPROACHES
To learn how athletes stay confident, I called Gregory A. Dale, PhD, who is a professor of sport psychology and sport ethics at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina, and a coauthor of It’s A Mental Thing! He consults with both athletes and nonathletes around the world about mental toughness. Here are his best helpful tips…
• Focus only on what you can control. When Dr. Dale started working with professional runner Shannon Rowbury, who runs the 1,500-meter track race, she was overly concerned with the outcome of her races—she obsessed over whether she would win or lose. Dr. Dale taught her that she couldn’t control what place she came in, so he helped her focus on one element of her running that she could control—her breathing. This trick may be what helped her win a medal at the 2009 Word Championships. And you can apply this theory to your own life. Let’s say that you’re doing a presentation at work. Instead of worrying about what people will think of it, which you can’t control, focus on what you can control—one part of the process. Master your material and thoroughly craft your presentation.
• Speak kindly to yourself. Many people are stuck in a cycle of self-criticism. A pro golfer with whom Dr. Dale worked would beat himself up over every poor shot (“That was the worst!” he’d yell) during both practices and tournaments. After working with Dr. Dale, he learned how to express his disappointment quickly and rationally (without sensationalizing it), and then mentally put that thought behind him and remind himself that he was, in fact, an excellent player. “Be encouraging to yourself, just as you would with a friend,” he said. It’s not easy to suddenly make the switch, but try it gradually. If you’re stressed about moving across the country and you keep focusing on how expensive the move will be, tell yourself, “There will be exciting new work opportunities…I’ll get to meet different people…and many aren’t brave enough to do what I’m doing right now.” Say this to yourself once a day at first, and then multiple times a day (and whenever you feel negative self-talk creep back into your vocabulary)—until you start to believe it and it drowns out negative thinking.
• Fake it till you make it. Dr. Dale recalled another client, a college tennis player, who spent all her time ruminating over her opponents’ strengths and listing the reasons that other players would win. To overcome this, she invented an alter ego, “Zena,” who was unafraid. Every time she stepped onto the court, she mentally became Zena, and her losing streak ended. So even if you’re feeling less self-assured as a result of, say, a divorce or an illness, stand tall and walk with a smile. That’ll make people think that you’re confident—and the more you act that way, the more you’ll feel that way.
